29 to 30 April 2010: Vox chatter

29 to 30 April 2010:  A scouting element of Captain Donovan's Bravo Company, 3^rd Battalion fell upon a Dark Eldar pirate band outside the town of Cardass on planet Zarevok.  We suffered moderate casualties, destroyed an enemy skimmer, and decimated the enemy force, with just six of the pirates escaping into the wood with their lives.  The following Vox chatter has been recorded:  -I'm Roxxy the Rock and Roll Clown, and I do C-C-Cocaine!- +No!  Don't let that fracking clown reach our lines!  Bring down that skimmer!+ +Sir, we've blown up the skimmer in the wood to our 11 o'clock+ +Onward men!  Crush the Xenos filth!+ +Aaaagh!  They're killing us!  Run away!  Run away!+ +Get back in the fight!+ -Seriously dude, a lot of Cocaine...- +Frack!  The clown is back on its feet, coming at us through the wood!+ +First rank, FIRE!  Second rank, FIRE!+ +The clown's retinue is dead but its still coming!+ -Hey pretty boys, what you up to?- +Kill it!  Kill the fracking clown!+ +VVVRRRRR!!!(Chainsword sawing the clown in half)+ +*Whew* The clown is dead, Sir!+ +By the Emperor, we've won!+ +Now make the rest of these Xenos freaks pay!  FIRE!+

The next day, elements of Captain Ratliff's Bravo Company, 1^st Battalion faced Renegade Space Marines in Betelgeuse Valley.  This was the first time that Zarevoki close combat specialists were employed by one of our HUG platoons, and they proved their worth by slaughtering Terminators.  This impressed Commissar Dan, who is attached to their HUG platoon.  The Terminators' movements were sluggish due to their power fists, which put them at great disadvantage against our lean mean fighting machines!  The Renegade Space Marines fell back to lick their wounds and Captain Pierson's C Co, 1^st Bn quickly relieved Captain Ratliff's B Co, 1^st Bn on the front lines. 

Later that same day the Renegade Space Marines attacked again and were fought off by Lieutenant Manarang's 3^rd Platoon with the aid of some Dark Eldar who had been captured in the forest and brainwashed by Sanctioned Psykers from the 13^th Palathion Regiment.  The following Vox chatter has been recorded:  -We are SPESS MAHRENS!  By the Power of Cheese, we shall vanquish this foe!-  +Sir! Five Space Marines in the open!+ +First rank, FIRE!  Second rank, FIRE!...and third...fourth, fifth, you go ahead and fire too.+ +They're not dying!+ +Frack this!  EVERYONE, FIRE ON THOSE FIVE SPACE MARINES IN THE OPEN!!!+ +*pew pew pewpewpepssSSHHRROOOMM!!!(100 rounds of las fire bathing the 5 space marines)*+ +Look Sir!  They're bleeding CHEESE!+ +The Space Marines are sucking the cheese through their helmets!+ +How is that even possible?!+ +Look!  One of them is having a heart attack!+ +HURRAY!!!  WE KILLED ONE!!!+ +Oh frack!  The Terminators have just slaughtered all of our brainwashed Dark Eldar on the right flank!+ +Concentrate fire on the Terminators!(one dies)+ +Umm...Glorious victory!  Now let's beat feet to a more defensible position FAR AWAY FROM HERE!+ +Lieutenant Manarang, you are not suggesting that we retreat, are you?+ +Uh, NO, Commissar Theres, we are simply advancing towards a better position that happens to be behind us.+ +Very well, Lieutenant, carry on.+

“Blessed is the mind too small for doubt.”