2 May 2010

2 May 2010:  Colonel Sir Zeller and Charlie Company, 2^nd Battalion witnessed a truly gruesome display of wanton mayhem and horror when they responded to a distress signal south of the Chenendoa Valley.  An allied Imperial Guard unit had been set upon by the insidious Eldar.  The following Vox chatter has been recorded:  +By the Emperor!  The field is littered with Eldar and Guardsman carcasses, Milord, and it looks as if these corpses are mostly eaten!+ +Aye, Patsy, and something has been drinking their blood by the looks of it.+ +Look lively men.  Scavenge what weapons and food you can before we burn the bodies.+ +Hmm...The blood and guts lead back beyond those ridges...+ -(minutes later)BLOOD!  BLOOD!  BLOOD!  AHAHAHAHAHA!!!- -WE HAVE COME TO TEAR THE FLESH FROM YOUR BONES!- +Oh Noes! Space Marine Cannibals!  Run away!  Run away!+ +Flying Space Marine Cannibals!+ +They won't die!+ -*HACK! SLASH! VVVVRRRR!!! SPLAT! SPLOTCH!*- +Mein Leipen!  My spleen!  Aaaagh!!!+ +Why must you beat me with my own arm!+ +Its eating Chuck's brains!  The horror!  The horror!+ +They're eating Commissar Lockwood alive!+ +Now they're eating Lieutenant Spidle!+ +They've destroyed the concrete building with sledge hammers and slaughtered our Lascannons!+ +Now they've wrecked our tank with their sledge hammers!  Run Watts!  Run!+ +Oh Noes!  They've eaten Watts and the other tankers!+ +Chewie get us out of here!(Colonel Sir Zeller and his retinue are evacuated via Vendetta gunship)+

Thus 1^st Platoon was wiped out, eaten by “Flesh Tearers” Space Marines.  Colonel Sir Zeller has since reported the flying Space Marine cannibals to the Inquisition's Ordo Hereticus.  Meanwhile, an artillery bombardment of excessive proportions from the 13^th Palathion has pounded the vicinity of the cannibals to oblivion.